Silent Hill, not actually all that silent it turns out.

Lewi has come over to visit Lara (and us a little bit, but mostly Lara!) and he's teaching me how to play Silent Hill like the n00b I am. Which involves a lot of swearing at the screen when the monsters show up, insulting their mothers and sexual proclivities. (Turns out, when monster killing, I turn into a raging misogynistic who yells things at the screen like "die, you fucking whore beast from hell! FUCKING EAT MY BAT!" Which is... a little concerning for my inner mental state, I'm sure.)

I have discovered two things about this game so far. First that, oh my god, is there a shit load of walking around. Down streets, in buildings, walking walking walking gimme more monsters! (So I can panic.) And secondly, the protagonist that you play, James? A complete and utter walking Doesn't Deserve To Live. Oh, so stupid! So stupid! Let me count the ways.

( I now present: James is a douche, in list format )

I might understand all this if he were some super cool marine dude before coming to Silent Hill, but he was a regular freaking guy! He has no badassary excuses!

Also, at some angles, he looks like Edward Cullen. No one else seems to see this, but I do. I SEE IT. And it means my desire to help him remain alive is even less. Damn he and I being the same person!