Come to the woman with the snakes in her hair

I want the Stevie Nicks version of Landslide and I want it now. This is my main discontentment this morning so obviously I’m not feeling as bad as I did the other day. Still kinda…blah….but not so much.

Short version: I quit the course I was doing, I dropped it, I flunked out, pick your own term. I didn’t want to be there and you know what? Life? Way too fucking short. So now I’m looking for a job. And I don’t know how that will go since most people probably don’t want to hire someone who is moving to New Zealand come January/February. But I guess we’ll see. Nothing to do but try.

I’m a little disappointed that I didn’t finish the course but I don’t know why I should be surprised. You’d think by now I would have got the point that I’m just not a school person. Sigh. But I so want to be. I want to be bright and clever and good at school but I’m just not. And it’s so annoying. No university for Circe, no matter how much certain family members think I should be able to do it. Blah.

Is it so wrong that I’m not searching for a ‘career’? Is it totally abnormal that all I want is a job that pays my rent? Siiiiiigh. This is my sigh. Mum was giving me the ‘I’m very disappointed’ look all day yesterday so I just avoided her. Locked myself in my room. I hate when she’s disappointed in me. It happens so rarely because I rarely get caught do anything really bad. The last time I locked myself in my room away from her was when I came back from my little ‘running away’ escapade with Brad last year. (Which was fun for the whole Road Trip aspect of driving to the other side of the state, but less fun when I called home to tell mum where I was.)