Pfft. Being a real student isn't about enrolment or id cards (neither of which I have yet), it's about wearing improper footwear (slippers, jandals or barefoot) everywhere, being scruffy, eating two minute noodles & fastfood instead of real food. It's about drinking before noon, turning up to things drunk, spending money on booze rather than food and generally being a tarnish on the gleaming order of society.

Are you up to it?