How bad does this look?

How much will I totally be seeing it?

Don't pretend that Conan the Barbarian wasn't an important part of your childhood! ...or maybe that was just mine? You know... looking back on it... Arnold Swarchenegger really was quite involved in my formative years: Terminator(s), Predator(s), Conan(s), Total Recall (which SCARRED ME, If you're reading this, mother!)

But this Conan is different. Because this Conan is Jason Momoa and I want into his pants. Like every sane person should.
So I just found the wiki page for Tablero (which is the seriously awesome drinking game we love to play at medieval things) and down the bottom it has a note that says: Tablado (appropriately pronounced 'Tah-blotto') is a form of Tablero in which hard alcohol is used. This form of the game is not recommended because pulling a line could cause the player to drink a minimum of 3 shots of alcohol in a very short time span. The chances of a player suffering alcohol poisoning as a result of this are extremely high, with a significant risk of death. ... does this mean we should stop playing tablero with tequila and vodka? (It's best with spiced wine anyway, especially since we've always got lots of that.)

On a slightly less alcoholic note: On the 23rd of May I'm going to Melbourne! Just for a few days but it is going to be DOUBLE MUMMIES ACROSS THE SKY! Because it's going to be my mummy and me in a hotel and having fun times and general loveliness and King Tut's mummy as we're going to this and can I even begin to tell you how excited I am about that? No, I can't. Because, holy shit, Egypt. Egypt Egypt Egypt. Expect tears of excitement and love. (My poor mother is going to have to deal with me while this is happening: spare a thought for the poor woman.)

Beowulf

Feb. 6th, 2011 10:38 pm
You know what we all need? Beowulf as a children's story. I listened to this read out at medieval faire last week and it was brilliant with audience participation.

See Grendel. See Grendel eat. Eat, Grendel, eat. )

EDIT: More Victorian porn! The last ones I linked to were cartoony illustrations, so be warned that these are photos. Very very porny photos. Everyone is really well dressed though, which is awesome.

Aaaand Alison just pointed out that the women on the second one looks like Alan Davies. Watching QI will never be the same.
I am now 98% moved into my new room and Lara's bedroom-to-be is empty and vacuumed and now only awaiting her gorgeous presence. There would be photos to prove both of these things were I able to be bothered. I'm not though.

Tomorrow sometime early afternoon I am leaving for Canterbury Faire and although I'm not supposed to get sunburned until then, I think I'm a little burned already from sitting in the sun today and watching Hera play in the arts centre. Damn you, day star!

Before bed the house has to be clean so Lara doesn't arrive to a sty. I suspect she wouldn't like that so much.

CF photos

Feb. 10th, 2009 11:32 pm
As I said I would, I come bearing photos from the nine day long medieval extravaganza that is Canterbury Faire. OM NOM NOM )
I am exhausted, sun-boiled, sore, and a little bit alcohol-effected.

Thus ends another glorious Canterbury Faire. I'll write another post about it later (with photos of the geekary) but for now we're going to watch Princess Bride as Peter has never seen it.

But, as for a challenge spoken about at CF. After talking about the Brazilian Smurf porn (No, I'm not linking. Go google it for the childhood destroying hilarity) we wondered what other beloved kids cartoons we loved would be awesomely smutty. Some quick googling brings up Captain Planet bestiality porn (drawing). I'm sure there's more but I can't be bothered finding it. No one needs to know this stuff exists anyway.

AFP is doing the show in Wellington that we hoped she would on 12th March. This makes me gleefully happy as Wellington is much closer and better than Auckland.
So, the plan for tonight was to turn the four metres of red fabric I bought into a dress instead. So Jen and I watched Mean Girls (OH YES WE DID) while I laid it all out on the floor and sort of made a pattern out of newspaper. By twenty minutes later I decided that I had no a clue what I was doing and maybe cutting the cloth up and just sort of pasting it to my body wasn't the best idea. I'll see if I can instead get a hold of Sam verysoon and she can tell me what to do, because whatever I was thinking wasn't working.

I lack the skills.

So I decided that I would work on the button holes on my other dress... but I have no blue thread to match it.

So tonight I got exactly nothing done on my medieval clothes, except for getting Jen into them and finding she looked quite hot in them. (But, let's face it, girl looks pretty damn good in most things, the sexy-waisted excellent-breasted cow. Although, a cow would mean udders not breasts and now there's all this imagery going on in my head and it needs to stop immediately.)

For the first time in a year I have dyed my hair. A YEAR. That's pretty much the longest I gone without dying it since I was about sixteen, which is madness. No photos, because it's not that dramatic. Just a rather pretty and very non-medieval berry sort of red. It has a nice sun glow to it but not the radioactive I used to have.
Tonight there was an informal sewing group in the living room as we all try and finish garb before Canterbury Faire. (Oh man, so close. How much can I not wait for nine days of medievalness? The answer is A LOT.) I am not even half way around hemming the skirt on my GIANT freaking gown. It's going to take forever but it will be worth it. Everyone loves a huge skirt.

After sewing we didn't do much. Oh, except that we watched Repo!! OH MY GOD, FOR THE FRACKING WIN! :D It made me happy in my pants and in my soul. (The bits with Anthony Stewart Head singing and being evil made me especially happy in the pants region.)

How tempted am I to watch it again later tonight? SO VERY MUCH Not at all. Nope. None.

Musical and Medieval both start with an M. M is clearly awesome.
I return from Lindisfarne and now, after falling into bed to recover a little, I am awake and STILL dressed in garb. Oh yes. It's the internet and medieval clothes at the same time. I'm fucking with the system.

The weekend was excellent though, even if I did get myself horribly trashed on night one and spent the next day feeling gross and hungover.
Oh man, I wish I was making cupcakes right now. Raen's icon makes me crave them like mad but since we're shopping this afternoon the pantry will be rather empty of cupcake making supplies at the moment. But there will be cupcakes for the drinkies this Friday. Because we are a ladies flat and we do ladies things, like brightly decorated cupcakes. And metric shit tons of tequila. I'll throw some of those little silver balls into it all.

First medieval feast was good although by the end I felt like I was going to explode from the amount of food I'd eaten. Especially the pottage cheese and bread. We stole more from the table next to us. And then after the feast we came back to the LFoD and watched the last two Batman movies. Batman Forever was a lot better when I was twelve. I remember them being a very good movie. How very very wrong I was. And we all already expected the horror of Batman and Robin, for no one has the power to block the ice-related puns from memory. We marked them all down on the sliding door in the living room so we will never forget. Someone who wasn't me also drew a stick man doing obscene things to Catwoman. Can't trust any one these days.

Alison keeps making fun of Baudelaire for being the Goodyear Rat. Poor thing! He's going to get a rodent self esteem issue, the little fatty.
Oh, hello bedroom. You are fantastically wonderful and not full of leaves and lack any sort of deflating bed.

I returned this afternoon from Canterbury Faire, the ever-fantastic week long medieval event. And while I was happy to leave behind sleeping in a very small tent with Raen, I shall miss the rest of it.

I ate so many pies. Mmmm, pie. And Turkish coffee. I wish I had one now because I'm quite asleep even after falling into my bed as soon as our return to the LFoD.

And while it is not medieval, human croquet is serious amounts of fun when played :)

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August 2012

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