This is what it said on the back of the truck that we did, indeed, pass on the drive back from the airport. It knows I'm foxy, that's why.

Hello darling people, this is your impotant imperious leader recording her captain's log from Nimbin, Australia, as she reclines in the sunshine far from tectonic plates and their naughty little games. (I can't even begin to tell you how amazing it feels to be without earthquakes. I've been here a whole week and there has been NOT ONE. This is incredible to me and so good for my nerves which tend to lean towards being frayed even without the city tumbling down around me every five minutes. But still I keep eyeing up unsecured items dubiously. They are not to be trusted.)

Alison was here for the first week, but today we dropped her off at the airport and she'll never ever come back ever again. In fact, she'll currently be in Sydney (I think) or maybe almost on the flight to New Zealand.

I have been existing on a diet of fresh fruit, Caesar salad, and alcohol, and it's pretty much the best thing ever actually. My liver gets such a workout here although last night I decided to slow down a bit. I cannot keep up with dad and Gwennie. They have titanium well-practised livers! Mine is merely human! It wants to live!

The night before last they had a Viking feast, which turned out to be completely awesome. Everyone dressed up and there was legs of lamb and whole big fishes and a ridiculously long feast table with a huge roaring fire at the end. GLORIOUS. Then near the end of the night Alison and I managed to get people playing Tablero which is always so much fun, and then dad thought we were being pussies with it so we started playing with whiskey and tequila instead of the lighter stuff. HELLS YEAH. Tablero should always be played with hard liquor and anyone who says differently might be a medical professional or concerned for your physical wellbeing. What would they know.

The booze we played with was home made, as dad's now got a friend with a still who provides four litres of it a week and then they flavour it into pretend things. The tequila is a bit off but might just need some time. The fake whiskeys are pretty good though. But our attempt at mango liquor needs to be learned from by future generations to keep them from making such a terrible mistake. I think only of the children here.

(It is possible, just maybe, that under the influence of viking boozing it up I texted some people with promises of my anatomy. Not that I would ever do such a thing. I am a lady. But to the people who did get those texts: How you doin'?)

I'll leave you with some Viking photos. No word from fellow SCAdians! )


Tomorrow we will... do something that most likely involves alcohol as that is now the pattern forms here. I like this pattern. I will read my book (Currently flicking between Catherine Valente's Habitation of the Blessed and Geoffrey Miller's The Mating Mind, both of which are fabulous because Valente is a goddess and books about evolutionary psychology gives me warm fuzzies.) Or I will do something productive and adult. I will roleplay.
My laptop that has been broken for more than a year (despite my constant poking of it, pressing all buttons, shaking it like a baby) now suddenly WORKS basically because my mother just, like, touched it. WHAT IS THIS WHAT IS THIS AND WHY HAS IT HAPPENED?? I am half annoyed that it seemed to just want her attention and half pleased because, you know, lappy again!

Computers, man. What bitches.

I am currently in Melbourne enjoyed the hotel wireless because I have to tell you about the amazingness that was the King Tut exhibition today. OH GOD OH GODS OF DUAT AND KEMET I CANNOT EVEN TELL YOU. It was beautiful. I spent the first three rooms of it tearing up and trying not to cry at how overwhelmed I was. Could I be more of an Egyptology geek? (Charlie! Charlie! I spent the whole time thinking about texting you and there was a beautiful Sekhmet and I was all !!! WHY IS CHARLIE NOT HERE WITH ME FOR THIS?? Valid question, Charlie, WHERE WERE YOU??)

Then they talked about my friends in the videos. ('my friends' being Ramses II, Seti I, and my girl of awesome Hatshepsut. (These are my friends, see how they shimmer - that's what Johnny Depp said about the Pharaohs.))

There's this cardboard Anubis standee down in the foyer of the hotel and I am waiting until it is late times and no one is there so I can go down and take lots of embarrassing photos with him.

Yesterday we went to Victoria Market and I bought pretty Egyptian papyri, because only Egyptian things are allowed in this holiday apparently and I will tomorrow buy another one YAY!

We bought DVDs from Borders last night but they didn't take those bloody security things off so we had to break the boxes open to watch our ten dollar DVDs. Screw you, Borders! Now I'm going to have to work out how to keep them safe to bring them home. (Emma is way superior to Pride and Prejudice. Why did no one tell me this? Mr Knightley is about a BILLION times better than stupid Mr Darcy. OH YES I SAID IT.)
Me sleepy.

I'm up to make little sandwiches for Alina's sparkly fairy princess and llama's 21st birthday. Everyone loves little sandwiches!

Tonight I have to pack and get an early night because I have to get a taxi to the airport at seven - which is actually a far more reasonable hour than most of my morning flights and I hope it won't be too crowded on the roads. It cost Ali $70 to get back from there the other day when it's usually a $40 journey. Ick. But I have cash and if all goes wrong I'll walk the last of it! (Sadly not enough money to go buy some new earphones though so I'll have to be on the plane with the ones I have that one work in one ear. This is annoyance.)

Also, if the earth starts shaking shit up and the airport gets closed I'm going to be muchos pissed off. They will hear my rage across the sea. So... just keep it down, tectonic plates. Be cool. (I'm coming BACK to the city you broke so nicely for me, don't worry!)

Still haven't packed. Packing is for losers.

Oh! The world didn't end, I just noticed! Although I haven't seen Lara this morning so it is very possible she has been raptured. Alison and I have to prepare ourselves for this inevitability. We will had to eat all the noms ourselves and get someone to watch the cats while we're away.

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honeyspider

August 2012

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